Good Afternoon and Blessings Everyone!
I trust everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day! Mine was spent home during the day working on my book, cooking dinner for my sweetheart and then visiting his father in the hospital. Pops had a stroke the day before Christmas Eve but he is on the mend. Watching him, seeing all he is going through makes me miss my father all the more. I lost him the day after Thanksgiving 2012 so it's all new to me after having him with me for 57 years to suddenly face the days without him. All the magick in the world can't bring him back to me and the rest of the family. Even though I know he is in a better place, free of pain and stress, I still miss him on a daily basis.
My father was an amazing man. He cared for his family with love and a strong hand. Never once raising it to hit his children in anger. Oh yes we got the smacked on the butt but that was for our own good. It was how he taught us to have the morals we have, to respect our elders, to care for those less fortunate than us, to work to achieve and become the best we can in whatever we do. He always told us you aren't given respect you earn it! You work for what you want in this world you don't take it!
Growing up my father was my hero! He was always my Valentine even when I was married, he was the love of my life because he was my Dad and no matter how old I got he always saw me as his little girl. The youngest of two daughters but older than two sons. My sister blazed the road ahead of me to make life easier for the three youngest but it didn't work that way. Oh, the boys had it easier going out and hanging out with their friends but I well, I was always the youngest daughter. My older sister Donna, never could figure out why he was like that but looking back on it now, I wouldn't have had it any other way.
In 2007 we lost my sister Donna to cancer. That is when I started to lose my father. It was more than he could handle being 79 years old and losing a child. He wanted to know why God didn't take him instead. I reminded him he always taught me life goes on so we have bear it on our shoulders and take care of what needs to be done. He reminded me this was unnatural a parent should now out live their child. He was right of course but he needed to know we were all there for him and wanted him with us a long time.
Over the next few years I watched him slip away. At one point he started to see! Oh i don't mean he was blind and could finally see things around him I mean he started to "see" the spirit world. One day he was so upset with having too many "people" in the house he told me to take them with me when I leave since they come in with me when I arrive. He was seeing those who come to me. He started to describe spirits I knew were around me. He started to understand what my life was like and what I have been going through for so long. His only request was to take them away. He wasn't happy with his new found gifts. Being 81 years old when this was bestowed on him I can't say I blame him. My father had a knew respect for the work I do. He began to understand it more and respect it.
As time went on he slipped deeper and deeper inside himself. I hated watching it, hated knowing one day thanks to Parkinson's Disease he will not know who I am and he will no longer be able to get along on his own. Unfortunately it happened faster than I thought it would. Little by little he drifted away and most times he came back but then the day I dreaded arrived and he didn't find his way back. He went to sleep and went home to a better more peaceful life.No more pain, no more sorrow, he was now with my mother and my sister along with so many other family members who left before him. Closing my eyes even through my tears I could see he was happy and smiling.
It's hard for a parent to lose a child and it's hard for a child to find themselves in the situation of taking care of their parent or parents as if they were now the children. I do not wish neither on anyone. So when you open your eyes in the morning to your mom or dad texting you or calling you with this issue or that, thank your lucky stars and God for all he has given you.When your children are driving you nuts because they are bored or they are doing what kids do just to get on your nerves, take a second to thank God for these blessings and remember each life he has given is a gift. Treasure these gifts always.
My Fahter is always with me, still makes me smile. I can still feel his love. I know he is with me always and all I have to do is call out to him. He was my hero, my heart, my first crush, my Valentine, he was my Daddy then, now and always! Papa you will always have my heart!
I Love You Dad!
You held my tiny hand in yours,
When I cried you walked the floors,
You taught me how to talk,
Caught me when I learned to walk,
Made sure I did my school work,
And my chores I did not shirk,
You taught me to hold my head high,
Respected the fact I was shy,
Always there to protect me,
Taught me what I need to be,
Able to stand on my own,
Once I was all grown,
The morals you instilled in me,
I passed down to my three,
The traditions you taught us year after year,
In this family will never disappear,
You are the reason I believe,
No matter what I set out to achieve,
I will meet it with success,
Myself I should not second guess,
Now when I am sad thinking of you,
I ask myself what you might do,
Quietly I bow my head in prayer,
Knowing you will be there,
To once again take my hand,
To give me strength so I can stand,
And face each day with out you here,
Knowing you will always be near,
I love you Dad with all my heart,
But then you knew that from the start!
To Be Continued.......
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