Are You Empathic?

Good Morning and Blessings Everyone!

Imagine being only eight years old and feeling the emotions of those around you and not  knowing how to handle it or what is happening to you. Imagine feeling sick to your stomach at a moments notice for no apparent reason. Going to doctor after doctor only to be told there was nothing wrong. Once again Great Grandma to the rescue with a blend of Chamomile tea to settle the stomach and advice that in time I will understand. She told me I may not see it now as a gift but as time goes on I will learn to understand how this gift works.

To all the empaths out there, how many times have you been diagnosed with some sort of nervous or personality disorder? How many times has a doctor put you on medication to get it under control? True the medication works but inside you feel as if you have lost a part of yourself. You begin to wonder if there isn't a better way. Now you begin to research more than the medical aspect of what is going on with you and turn to a higher level. You start seeking a spiritual relief and in doing so you begin to realize you are an empath from the research you are doing. I am not saying everyone with a nervous or personality disorder is empathic but some may be. For me I was diagnosed at a young age with colitis, a nervous stomach. Made sense to me after all I was only a kid. I took the medication prescribed and tried to go on with my life.

As time went on it got worse so they changed medications and I started to feel as if I would never be able to cope again without this medication. I was only eighteen years old when the doctors thought Valium was the way to treat me. Back then it was the drug of choice but not for me. I had just lost my Great Grandmother a few months before my eighteenth birthday. I felt lost and alone. No one to talk to about all these things going on in my head until one day I realized she was still here, still with me. All I needed to do was to talk to her. I started to feel more and more like myself without the medication. I started to seek out answers. Of course the age of computers was no where around yet so the library was my home every Saturday afternoon and whenever I could get there during the week but I had to be careful in those days what types of books I borrowed. After all it wasn't as though Witches were so popular back then. Trust me in the 70's it was frowned upon that is why everything had to be kept so quiet. There weren't even any books in my public library written on the subject! Even if there were, the librarian was a Friend of the family who would undoubtedly go back and speak to my parents.

No it wasn't until I was much older that the age of computers came into play and I found the wonders of the Internet. It wasn't until I was older that I discovered I was not alone on this path and there were those out there willing to share their knowledge and experiences with others so they would not go through the horrors we had experienced growing up "different." These men and women found a way to pay it forward. For most of them they did it out of the kindness of their heart. They taught those who wanted to learn because they believed in the person they were teaching. NO CHARGE! Knowledge is free and it truly is if you have this amazing Internet at your service, knowledge is free. It's the experience you want hear about. To savor and learn about. It is the experiences of others that teach you the mistakes they made and the successes they have had along their Spiritual Path.

Then one day I met the most amazing Woman on my path to spiritual enlightenment, Mama Cinn. She taught me so much and she believed in me. She shared her knowledge free of charge. When I asked her how I could ever repay her for all she did for me she told me to "Pay it Forward." Over the last eighteen years I have done exactly as she requested. 

One thing I remember as if it was yesterday was a conversation I had with her about being diagnosed with social anxiety disorder. I hated being around people, had the feeling of needing to run no matter where I was. She listened to me tell her about my life and how these things developed over the years. Then she said, "May I ask you a couple of questions?" Of course she could she was my mentor she could ask me anything.

She asked me if I take notice of the environment of a room as soon as I enter it. I told her when I went into a room I could feel if it was right or wrong for me. Even the hair on the back of my neck would stand up and warn me to leave. Next she wanted to know if I ever noticed that the moods of the people around me affected me any way. Wow was she kidding me or not? Of course they affected me. There were times if someone came near me crying I would feel as if I was going to throw up. I couldn't get away from them fast enough. If they were happy I actually felt drunk! She said nothing yet just asked me how a large crowd made me fee. I told her I would feel as if I wanted to run away. I started to get uncomfortable as if I couldnt' breath even if I was at a parade I needed to leave. Could I sense the pain of others was her next thing. I had to think about that so I asked physical pain or emotional pain. She wanted to know either way. In thinking about it I realized yes in both cases. If someone was sick in the hospital with pain associated with the illness I could feel their pain, I could also feel the anguish of someone who had lost a loved one. I just thought I was imagining it. Now she had my interest. Maybe I wasn't as off the wall as I thought.

She continued to ask me questions like causal touching, taking hold of someones hand to shake hello, or a gentle kiss on the cheek as a sign of respect. I avoided this like a disease because it made me feel uneasy. She wanted to know how I handled confrontation of any sort. What happened to me if I even thought about the possibility of confrontation. That one was easy, I would get the feeling of uneasiness in my stomach as if something in there was pacing back and forth. I felt my entire body go on hypersensitive and I would shake from head to toe. Does it take much to hurt my feels and what happens when my feelings are hurt. I thought in that department I wasn't much different than most woman. Yes my feelings get hurt very easily so much so I usually end up in tears.

She was quiet for a moment or two then I asked her, "OK, doc, what do I have?" I explained to her these are the reasons they are telling me I have social anxiety disorder and I am in need of counselling however I do not feel it is doing anything at all for me. She laughed and said it wouldn't do anything for me since I do not have social anxiety disorder. Now she had my interest. She said from the time she has gotten to know me she realized I was just like her, I am an empath. Interesting and scary at the same time because the only thing I knew about empaths I saw on the ever famous TV show Charmed and all the character experienced was pain and suffering. How the hell was that a gift!

If you are empath it means you are affected by other people's energies. You are unconsciously influenced by others' desires, wishes, thoughts, and moods. At times you feel as if you are on an emotional roller coaster. Talk about PMS! Wow, this is ten times worse and comes on you at any moment, not just a particular time of the month!  Now that I peaked your curiosity, lets continue this conversation a later!

                                                         An Empath

                                           Why do I feel so lost and alone,
                                           Pain and hurting deep to the bone,
                                           But wait that mood is no longer there,
                                           No more sorrow and despair,
                                           Nope, now I want to go out and play,
                                           Skipping merrily along the way,
                                           Wow an emotional roller coaster I am on,
                                           Here one minute than gone,
                                           There must be something wrong with me,
                                           Something a doctor can not see,
                                           For when I touch you on the hand,
                                           The emotions I cannot stand,
                                           A bit sensitive I would say,
                                           Oh boy, how did I ever get this way,
                                           Then a whisper in my ear,
                                           To relax, have no more fear,
                                           To trust the gift bestowed to me,
                                           To let it grow so I can see,
                                           The direction it is to take,
                                           Allow my senses to awake,
                                           So I can help those in need,
                                           Follow their path and succeed,
                                           For when they seek me out to talk,
                                           I can help them learn to walk,
                                           This very special path they are on,
                                           Then all their fears will be gone,
                                           They will understand what they are,
                                           An Empath, a shinning star!

To be Continued......