I Only Do What The Voices In My Head Tell Me To!

Good Afternoon and Blessings Everyone!

One day while browsing through a t-shirt catalog I couldn't help but think, "That is so me," when I saw this t-shirt saying staring me in the face. I only do what the voices in my head tell me to! A long time ago when I was just a little girl I realized that something was different about me. Well to be honest so did my parents but they were afraid for me so they spent most of the time convincing me I was not hearing, let alone seeing, what I thought I was. I was always afraid to talk to anyone about what I saw or heard so I hid. I became very quiet and shy careful not to spill the beans to anyone that I obviously had something wrong with me. I mean after all, not everyone got a visit from those who are not of this realm so obviously it wasn't real. I tried for so long to push it away, to close my eyes as they walked through my room at night, to sing songs and block out the voices that kept telling me what needed to be heard. I begged God to help me to be normal!

What I didn't know then was I was not only normal I was gifted. When I was a young girl I fought so hard to do what my parents wanted me to do and hide my gifts. I started getting sick at a very young age. In and out of the hospital with one infection or another. Fighting hard to keep those trying to communicate with me at bay was making me sick. I din't know that then but I do now. Still I am very quiet about what I hear and what I see not because I no longer believe I have these gifts but because they were not given to me to flaunt but to use for the better good of others. My Great Grandmother once told me to pay attention and listen to what they had to say. I know she is with me all the time and cherish her guidance when she was here with me on this Earth and now that she has her hand on my shoulder guiding me from within the next realm. Her wisdom has been my strength. 

When I was younger I used to hear them talk to me. I didn't know what it was that I was hearing so of course I told my mother. She asked me what they sounded like and I told her whispers in my ear, a soft voice in my head. What she meant was whose voice was I hearing. I had to think about that before I realized it was my own voice I heard them in. Of course not understanding what I was going through my mother became afraid something was wrong with me. The more she asked me if I was still hearing things the more I realized I had deny it. I started telling her I was ok, no more voices, no more visitors but there were and there was no one I could turn to once my Great Grandmother was gone. I had little to no friends in high school, I spent most of my time at the convent helping the nuns. I loved it there, felt at peace but it also brought me closer to the Divine because I was doing good for others not thinking of just myself. I started to realize that being empathic and having clairaudiance coupled with clairvoyance was a lot for one person to handle so young but I had to learn this was my calling, my path in life. 

As I got older people wanted me to put a label on what my gifts were. I never looked at myself as anything special but I do mention my gifts now so you can understand them better. I always saw myself simply as a Seer. Someone who can see those who have passed on (if I'm lucky), someone who hears what messages my guides are sending me (again if I'm lucky), someone blessed with visions (again if I'm lucky), and someone who can sense and feel the needs of others on a daily basis (if I'm lucky). I don't always see, hear, feel, every day. These are gifts that are there if I need them or if someone is in need of me. Since I was the only one I knew that had these gifts for so long I didn't know if I was using them right or even understood them correctly. This is one of the reasons I love the internet. When I finally got on the internet and met people like me, like minded people, I met so many willing to share and learn. It is an amazing group of people. Some I know are real, while others I know have no clue and are just doing what the movies tell them is correct. I caution you to be careful of whom you listen to. Learn the right information so you can develop your gifts and feel good in your own body. Trust me you will feel when they are right or wrong if you let your gifts and your guides show you the way.

You can not imagine what a relief it was when I asked a mentor of mine what the voices sounded like to her and she told me her own voice. I felt as if a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I was not crazy, I was normal for someone who is gifted with such wonderful gifts. When I do readings or often when I walk around the house asking questions and no one is there to answer me, I still get answers. I have said time and again I do not read Tarot cards because I can not grasp them. I do however read angel cards which I will explain in my next blog. But I want to go back to before I read angel cards, before I realized there were cards I could read. Back then I still was able to do readings because I read the people. I didn't always have to touch someone to read them. Most of the time I just had to look into their eyes or listen to their voice, if I was on the phone, and I could read them. It felt good to connect and be able to help those in need no matter what my technique was. I didn't pick I was guided on what to do but still there were those voices in my head that gave me the answers the person sitting in front of me needed. I learned in time to trust those voices and realize they were not harmful to me or to any one else. It is my inner voice, my guides, my team, be it angels, saints or whatever the Divine sends my way. It is the voice of the power of the white light, the power of the Divine that shows me the way. 

To this day I call upon those who watch over me to help me stay on my path. I listen to their words of wisdom as to which way my path will and should turn. I pay attention to those vibrations around me so I can feel, understand, and help those in need with love, understanding and compassion. If I am wrong, if I turn my back on what I am meant to do, I will not hear my friends, my guides for they will have no reason to come to me. I will however find myself in a path of drama that will drive me to realize I have strayed from my path. It's almost like a scolding from mother to a child who is going near a hot stove to stay away or they can get burned. When I don't listen to the voices in my head my scolding is a warning I am drifting too far away. I am being warned I need to wake up and get back on the path that is me, the path that brings peace in my life and puts me in position to help others in need. 

I thank God everyday for the blessings I have. For the gift of sight, hearing, and feeling. I thank God everyday for always being there and believing in me. I often ask him how can I be of greater service and then something happens that makes me realize he is answering me. Over the past couple of years I have come to realize I have lived a blessed life. I live in peace, understanding of others, and love for all those who bless my life. I often frustrate others because I do not fight, I laugh everyday, do not respond to drama, and find my peace within myself. Just so you know I am human and I do want to lash out many times. I often get on the computer and write what I think about a situation that is upsetting me but instead of saving it I delete it. I often look at comments on fb and get so upset I type in a nasty comment but delete it. I don't delete these out of fear of a response I delete these comments and thoughts because I vented my words to the Divine and it's over. The frustration and possible anger but often then not hurt I feel is gone. These voices that whisper to me heard my cry and helped me release all the earth bound garbage. No one ever said having these gifts were easy but with them does come a responsibility to yourself, to others, and the Divine.