Good Morning and Brightest Everyone!
Sometimes we lose ourselves in life. I know I have said that many times but as an empath we can, at times, find ourselves drowning but never really know it till we hit the top of the water once again and take a deep breath. Of course there is no way of telling how long that dunk in the water will last until you decide it's time to once again take a breath and re-join the living.
For me it's been a while. I would have to say at least three years up and down in the water fighting my way out. One event after another and each time I reached the top of the water to take a breath I thought and honestly believed, this is it, I'm done, I can now move on, but that was not what happened. A little over a year ago I stopped doing everything. I stopped writing, I stopped listening to Spirit, I shut it all out. You know I didn't even realize I did until one night during Halloween week 2015, I got a visit in the middle of the night.
I went to sleep and was at that stage of where you are just about falling asleep but still in this time and I had a vision that literally woke me up. As I felt myself drifting off to sleep I also felt my body begin to tingle. For me that's a warning something is about to happen that isn't going to be very nice. My room became darker and darker and out of the wall near my bed, a wall that led to my closet, came a dark figure I always called my Watcher. Watching me to see when I was at my weakest so he could drag me to the darkness. He has been around popping into my life since I was a little girl. It's why my great grandmother and grandmother always said I was given this gift for a reason since this Watcher is so interested in taking my light.
Well as he came out of the wall and attacked me I fought him off. I could feel him scratching me and then he bit my arm but I kept fighting. Kept telling him he wasn't wanted here and he couldn't have me. With that a white light came into the room and I could feel a warm hand on my arm and heard someone telling me to come to the light and it will be ok, not to be afraid. As I moved towards this light a hand reached out and tossed the Watcher into the darkness off the side of the bed. The voice in the light became familiar to me as she said "never lose sight of the light, pray and believe because we are always there watching over you." The image of the person coming out of the light was now clear to me. It was my sister, Donna, talking to me, telling me it will all be ok as she held my hand and placed hers over the spot where the Watcher had bit me. I came out of my vision calling out her name, reaching for her but of course she was no longer there. I could still feel the spot where the Watcher bit me and there was a slight reddness but nothing else. The mark of his bit was gone. I had my wake up call. It was time to re-join the living. To stop letting everything pull me down and to welcome myself back in my body.
Since then they have started to talk to me again, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Reminding me of who and what I am. Yes I am a Witch, I am an Empath, but I am so much more and I need to remember that. I am a human being with feelings. I laugh, I cry, I sing, I dance, and at times I have pain. Pain from within the heart that needs time to heal and I often forget to take that time and in doing so I crash. This crash was big and I could feel myself slipping every day and not knowing how to climb up that slippery slop and regain my footing.
I am happy I now have my footing back and I am on the right track. I didn't sit down and start to write in my blog again the next day because I wanted to make sure I really and truely was back on the right track. I am being creative again, writing again, and listening to the angels, I'm singing and dancing and living my life with my eyes opened once again. Craft ideas and the desire to write are strong and pushing me everyday into all hours of the night. I am beginning to lose weight and feel a bounce in my step. I am me once again and being told as I write this, "Welcome back, we missed you." I missed them too.
My message here is, we may all think we know what it is we need because we "understand" what an empath is and we "know" how to handle the ups and downs of this course of life we are on but we often forget that while helping others we need to remember to take the time to help ourselves. Remember to go to the Spirit, The Divine, God whomever you go to, go there. Go there and ask to have all the negativity removed that you picked up during the course of your day. Go there and ask for guidance so you can find your way clear of all the darkness that seeps in. Go there and give your soul a cleansing and ask for the help you may need to get through all that may be thrown in your path but most of all go there believing in what you are doing. Don't lose hope, don't lose sight of who you are, but most importantly don't stop believing. Don't lose sight of your guides, don't ever lose sight of the Divine for you are never alone. If needed call out for that hug, close your eyes, and feel the warmth of the air around you, the strength of the wings engulfing you, believe from deep inside your soul, then take a deep breath and breathe.
I was overwhelmed and to protect myself I shut down, they shut me down and then called me back when the time was right. I forgot to call out for help when I felt myself drowning so they had to let me go so I could learn yet another lesson. We are not the healers in this realm even though we can lend an ear to a friend in need, hold the hand of someone in pain, or lay our hands on someone for healing we are not the healers we are only the tool the spirit world needs to the work we call them to do. If we do not ask for the healing they cannot come through us to do the work. The way they grant us these gifts we have to grant them use of our bodies. Together we are a team, separate we are souls walking in two different realms struggling to understand and help those around us which won't happen if we do not join together and believe in one another.
To my team I thank you for the wake up call, for hearing my prayers and pulling me out of the water. Thank you for never giving up on me and for always watching over me. Thank you for being by side and waiting for me to return. It feels good to be in touch again and be myself once more.
Breathe and Believe
by Toni Gamarro
I heard your calls in the middle of the night,
trying to wake me and set things right.
I turned a deaf ear to the voices I heard,
my life had become blurred.
I fought hard to find my way back,
to set myself on the right track,
but I forgot this is not something to do alone,
even if I am a seasoned old crone.
I ignored all the messages sent my way,
didn't want to hear what they had to say.
Not sure why I shut them out,
perhaps because I had my doubt,
that what I heard came from the Divine,
so I kept looking for a sign.
No matter what messages they sent my way,
it was hard for me to stand and not sway,
until that door opened and you walked in,
reminding me light over dark will always win.
So I swam hard to get to the shore,
to stand on my own two feet once more,
knowing you are always by my side,
I'm sorry I chose to hide,
but thank you for not giving up on me,
for pulling me out of the sea,
for reminding me to breathe and believe,
to open myself up to recieve,
all the wonderful messages you send my way,
as I bow my head and pray.
http://facebook.com/toni.g.payne
Sometimes we lose ourselves in life. I know I have said that many times but as an empath we can, at times, find ourselves drowning but never really know it till we hit the top of the water once again and take a deep breath. Of course there is no way of telling how long that dunk in the water will last until you decide it's time to once again take a breath and re-join the living.
For me it's been a while. I would have to say at least three years up and down in the water fighting my way out. One event after another and each time I reached the top of the water to take a breath I thought and honestly believed, this is it, I'm done, I can now move on, but that was not what happened. A little over a year ago I stopped doing everything. I stopped writing, I stopped listening to Spirit, I shut it all out. You know I didn't even realize I did until one night during Halloween week 2015, I got a visit in the middle of the night.
I went to sleep and was at that stage of where you are just about falling asleep but still in this time and I had a vision that literally woke me up. As I felt myself drifting off to sleep I also felt my body begin to tingle. For me that's a warning something is about to happen that isn't going to be very nice. My room became darker and darker and out of the wall near my bed, a wall that led to my closet, came a dark figure I always called my Watcher. Watching me to see when I was at my weakest so he could drag me to the darkness. He has been around popping into my life since I was a little girl. It's why my great grandmother and grandmother always said I was given this gift for a reason since this Watcher is so interested in taking my light.
Well as he came out of the wall and attacked me I fought him off. I could feel him scratching me and then he bit my arm but I kept fighting. Kept telling him he wasn't wanted here and he couldn't have me. With that a white light came into the room and I could feel a warm hand on my arm and heard someone telling me to come to the light and it will be ok, not to be afraid. As I moved towards this light a hand reached out and tossed the Watcher into the darkness off the side of the bed. The voice in the light became familiar to me as she said "never lose sight of the light, pray and believe because we are always there watching over you." The image of the person coming out of the light was now clear to me. It was my sister, Donna, talking to me, telling me it will all be ok as she held my hand and placed hers over the spot where the Watcher had bit me. I came out of my vision calling out her name, reaching for her but of course she was no longer there. I could still feel the spot where the Watcher bit me and there was a slight reddness but nothing else. The mark of his bit was gone. I had my wake up call. It was time to re-join the living. To stop letting everything pull me down and to welcome myself back in my body.
Since then they have started to talk to me again, whispering sweet nothings in my ear. Reminding me of who and what I am. Yes I am a Witch, I am an Empath, but I am so much more and I need to remember that. I am a human being with feelings. I laugh, I cry, I sing, I dance, and at times I have pain. Pain from within the heart that needs time to heal and I often forget to take that time and in doing so I crash. This crash was big and I could feel myself slipping every day and not knowing how to climb up that slippery slop and regain my footing.
I am happy I now have my footing back and I am on the right track. I didn't sit down and start to write in my blog again the next day because I wanted to make sure I really and truely was back on the right track. I am being creative again, writing again, and listening to the angels, I'm singing and dancing and living my life with my eyes opened once again. Craft ideas and the desire to write are strong and pushing me everyday into all hours of the night. I am beginning to lose weight and feel a bounce in my step. I am me once again and being told as I write this, "Welcome back, we missed you." I missed them too.
My message here is, we may all think we know what it is we need because we "understand" what an empath is and we "know" how to handle the ups and downs of this course of life we are on but we often forget that while helping others we need to remember to take the time to help ourselves. Remember to go to the Spirit, The Divine, God whomever you go to, go there. Go there and ask to have all the negativity removed that you picked up during the course of your day. Go there and ask for guidance so you can find your way clear of all the darkness that seeps in. Go there and give your soul a cleansing and ask for the help you may need to get through all that may be thrown in your path but most of all go there believing in what you are doing. Don't lose hope, don't lose sight of who you are, but most importantly don't stop believing. Don't lose sight of your guides, don't ever lose sight of the Divine for you are never alone. If needed call out for that hug, close your eyes, and feel the warmth of the air around you, the strength of the wings engulfing you, believe from deep inside your soul, then take a deep breath and breathe.
I was overwhelmed and to protect myself I shut down, they shut me down and then called me back when the time was right. I forgot to call out for help when I felt myself drowning so they had to let me go so I could learn yet another lesson. We are not the healers in this realm even though we can lend an ear to a friend in need, hold the hand of someone in pain, or lay our hands on someone for healing we are not the healers we are only the tool the spirit world needs to the work we call them to do. If we do not ask for the healing they cannot come through us to do the work. The way they grant us these gifts we have to grant them use of our bodies. Together we are a team, separate we are souls walking in two different realms struggling to understand and help those around us which won't happen if we do not join together and believe in one another.
To my team I thank you for the wake up call, for hearing my prayers and pulling me out of the water. Thank you for never giving up on me and for always watching over me. Thank you for being by side and waiting for me to return. It feels good to be in touch again and be myself once more.
Breathe and Believe
by Toni Gamarro
I heard your calls in the middle of the night,
trying to wake me and set things right.
I turned a deaf ear to the voices I heard,
my life had become blurred.
I fought hard to find my way back,
to set myself on the right track,
but I forgot this is not something to do alone,
even if I am a seasoned old crone.
I ignored all the messages sent my way,
didn't want to hear what they had to say.
Not sure why I shut them out,
perhaps because I had my doubt,
that what I heard came from the Divine,
so I kept looking for a sign.
No matter what messages they sent my way,
it was hard for me to stand and not sway,
until that door opened and you walked in,
reminding me light over dark will always win.
So I swam hard to get to the shore,
to stand on my own two feet once more,
knowing you are always by my side,
I'm sorry I chose to hide,
but thank you for not giving up on me,
for pulling me out of the sea,
for reminding me to breathe and believe,
to open myself up to recieve,
all the wonderful messages you send my way,
as I bow my head and pray.
http://facebook.com/toni.g.payne
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